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Guiding You Towards a Life with Less Suffering


Nurturing Holistic Awareness & Growth

'I Don't Want To Be Here' Is a Calling To Find Your Place in the World

Updated: Apr 30

Hello Humans,

Let's look at depression through a new lens.

It's time for me to share a secret and profound truth 

Recently, I've confronted a whispering that I often push away — linked with a heavy feeling deep within me that has been within me since I was a child, "I don’t want to be here." This isn't about a physical location, but rather an expression of disconnect from the reality that was once imposed upon me. It's a daunting exploration, questioning if this discomfort is truly mine or just a reflection of the external pressures I face.

The truth is, in the past I often felt overwhelmed by the relentless barrage of noise in the world (fear of racism and bullying). I have lived many years feeling insecure about interacting with others and how they wanted to see me rather than learning to be the real me. In moments of overwhelm, I doubted my strength to stand up against the tide of dark thoughts. When I believed that the world was too much for me, part of me wanted to curl up and hide, the result was the thought 'I don't want to be her'. When we doubt our own power in the world it can magnify a painful sense of invisibility.

I get it: sometimes we question if people are genuinely interested in who we are. Maybe you find yourself withdrawing from the challenges posed by relationships. Or the fear of rejection and the anxiety about whether you are liked or despised can disrupt your mental well-being, leaving you to grapple with insecurities and a lack of connection. For me, these questions and feelings were compounded by the realisation that I am avoiding the truth: I don't feel connected to many people because it seems they don't truly see me.

Assumptions and projections act as barriers, they prevent us from feeling understood or related to, isolating us in our own experience. I see this as an experience many of us are dealing with.

So, what do I uncover when I am stripped of these external demands?

I find peace.

When I am not required to engage with the world, to react to other peoples projections, I find a serene space within myself. Detached from the chaos, I can breathe again and feel life through my body, even if that is the heaviness of depression. What does this teach me?

This is the secret teaching and profound truth that I've uncovered: 

I need to let the world in, not through resistance, but through surrender.

This surrender is not about giving up; it’s about allow ourselves to feel and releasing the fears and the deep-seated pain that have long governed our existence. It's about acknowledging that the stories and memories we cling to might not even be real but have been signals guiding us to this moment. 

If we can accept that we are exactly where we need to be — in a space where we can find stillness — to allow our bodies and minds to unravel fully from the stress and chaos of the modern world, we can turn our isolation into liberation. Setting ourselves free from the illusion of others and past realities.

Embracing this process of accepting our truth and letting go, means accepting that much of what weighs us down is inconsequential in the grand scheme. The fears, the angst about relationships, the constant self-doubt — they do not define our true essence. What matters is our ability to connect deeply with ourselves, to nurture the peace that we find within us when we step back from the external world.

Take a moment to reflect on your own experiences:

How often do you feel overwhelmed by the expectations and perceptions of others? 

Do you find peace within yourself when you disconnect from these external pressures? 

I encourage you to explore these questions and consider what it truly means to be honest with yourself in your life. In embracing our true selves and acknowledging our unique experiences, we can find our rightful place in the world — not defined by others, but defined by our own truths. by continuing to follow the path of personal truth (authenticity) involves a continuous, often challenging negotiation between the internal and external worlds. This negotiation requires us to regularly assess and sometimes redefine our boundaries and priorities.

One vital step is recognising that our interactions with the world around us — while sometimes overwhelming — are also rich opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Each moment of disconnect or misunderstanding, rather than being a source of disaster and distress, can serve as a catalyst for deeper self-awareness. It invites us to ask ourselves why certain situations trigger negative emotions and how we can respond differently.

On top of this, embracing the idea that "none of it really matters" in a philosophical sense can be liberating. It allows us to detach from the immediate emotional impact of events and see them as part of a larger narrative. This broader perspective can help us to differentiate between what is valued and what is just chaos, drama and noise — what are the sign-posts that guide us towards growth and which are the temptations and distractions that pull us towards stress. When we become mindful in this way, we are learning to observe our thoughts and feelings with purpose, acknowledging their presence, see them as signals but not allowing them to define who we are.  

So start setting healthy boundaries, choose solitude and places where your true self is seen and valued. The challenge for each of us is to remain open to life's experiences, to be curious about our reactions and introspective about our feelings. Not to be passive but actively pursue personal alignment. Finding our place in the world doesn't mean we have to fit into the chaos or behave in false ways. We can aim to carve out our own space where we can thrive on our own terms and in harmony with our values.

As we navigate this path, let's remember to be gentle with ourselves, to celebrate the small victories, and to keep moving forward with compassion and courage. Here are some practical journal prompts that can help you explore and possibly transform your views on yourselves and your place in the world:

What are my core values? 

Write down the values that are most important to you. Reflect on how these values influence your daily decisions and interactions with others. Consider whether you are living in alignment with these values, and if not, what changes you could make.

How do I react to stress or conflict?

Reflect on a recent stressful or conflict-ridden situation. Describe your initial reaction and any subsequent actions. Consider alternative ways you might handle similar situations in the future to align more closely with your desired self-image.

What am I most afraid of? 

Write about your fears and how they affect your life. Consider the origins of these fears and challenge their validity. How might your life change if you were able to overcome or manage these fears more effectively?

What are my strengths and how can I use them more? 

Identify your key strengths and consider how you can utilize them more in your personal, professional, and social life. Reflect on instances where using your strengths led to positive outcomes.

When do I feel most authentic? 

Recall moments when you felt you were truly being yourself. What were you doing? Who were you with? Analyze what these moments have in common and how you can create more opportunities to feel this way.

What would I do if I weren't afraid?

Imagine a world where fear doesn't hold you back. What would you do differently in your personal or professional life? Explore the steps you can take to start incorporating some of these changes now.

What legacy do I want to leave?

Think about how you want to be remembered. What kind of impact do you want to have on your friends, family, community, or the world? This can guide your actions and decisions in a more purposeful direction.

These prompts can help unpack complex feelings about identity and purpose, hopefully leading to new insights and perspectives. Allow your journal to be a safe space where you can express your deepest fears, celebrate your successes, and ponder your aspirations. Through this process, you can uncover the strengths that propel you forward and the passions that ignite your spirit.

Remember, embrace each day as an opportunity to reflect, grow, and shift your perspective. Step forward with an open heart and an eager spirit, ready to embrace the changes and challenges that come with growth. As you do, carry with you the assurance that in the pursuit of self-knowledge, you are never alone. We are all travelers on this path, seeking to better understand ourselves and, in turn, to better the world around us. 

Further reading for a more scientific view:

Difficult lives explain depression better than broken brains



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